SO. Yesterday I decided that I should spare everyone around me from my mood swings and I retreated to the beach to experience some solitude and hopefully gain back my sanity.
In my attempt to understand why I've been acting and feeling so angry, I opened up my journal and started writing to God. Initially, I asked for forgiveness. But I did not feel forgiven. I was completely doubting the fact that Christ's sacrifice is enough to cover ALL of my mistakes.
"Lord, forgive me. Again. Please reassure me that I am still yours"... is what I wrote.
I thumbed through my Bible, wrote down some more thoughts and prayed, but mostly I tried to listen. Moment by moment the Lord began to cast away my doubts. (Doubt has been a recurring theme in my life this year, it is super annoying). As I acknowledged my need for Him, He revealed His love for me. Like He has done so so so many times before.
I am forgiven. I am still His. Hallelujah!
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:8 & 9
But now, this is what the Lord says --
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine..."
- Isaiah 43:1
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