I love, LOVE!

On the day after Valentine's Day 2008 there was an IV (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship) large-group meeting. The boys in the group were really awesome and sweet and got carnations for all of the girls that were in attendance. 

It made me really happy. However, as the meeting dragged on and on I started to get bored. I wrote this poem, because I couldn't pay attention any longer.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

I love flowers.

I love Jesus, 

but I don't always show it to Him or people.

I wish that people 

everywhere

had the love in their lives 

that I do. 

I am a "love child."

Yup, my parents weren't married when I was born...

and they still aren't.

Oh well. 

I don't have A love in my life,

but I am loved.

Is it because I try to be 

what everyone wants me to be?

Or because Jesus is in me?

The 1st option is more likely.

I love flowers.

They smell nice.

Sometimes I have such feelings of love

for my friends,

family

pets

fellow man

that I want to BURST!

Like a few moments ago when I got

the flowers.

The feeling is dwindling now.

After sitting here for too long.

Getting bored, it's true.

But I still love you :)

Oh poetry. 

This semester I have started realizing that nearly all of the problems in my life, everything that has ever held me back and most of the mistakes I have made and regret are complete products of fear. The fear of the unknown, failure, criticism,  rejection...

Fear has even prevented me from going deeper in my relationship with the Lord. It prevents me from totally surrendering, because I don't know what will happen. Totally lame, I know, but at least I'm recognizing the problem now.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

God is love. He is on our side. What do we have to fear? When it comes to surrendering everything to Him, how can I be afraid? My life really could not be in better hands. There should be NO fear where God's perfect love resides. Yet I still struggle...